A few weeks ago, an old friend whom I rarely speak to sent me a text message. He’s known for being a bit eccentric and he can ask a lot of questions. And when I say a lot, I mean like thirty-five in a row that range in variety from one word answers to I need a paragraph to answer this properly. It was almost a game we used to play in high school and well, I sorta fell right back into this old habit. I answered his rapid-fire questions that ranged from frivolous to controversial and the following morning I kicked myself for being lured in.
I was irritated because some of the answers I gave weren’t really my answers. It was stuff I formulated an opinion about fifteen years ago and I really don’t care about anymore. I’m perfectly okay not having an opinion on something, especially in a world where everyone seems to have one and wants to share it.
I began reflecting on this behavior of mind and I’ve attempted to be more conscious of it in conversation. I’ve caught myself a few times digging into a side and defending it, when in all actuality I don’t really care. I’m not sure if it’s just a bad habit or something I picked up arguing nerd stuff in my younger days, but I want it to stop. So, now when I catch myself doing it, I try to slow down the conversation, state that it really doesn’t matter and end it.
It hasn’t always gone smooth. Just the other night, Brandy and I were in a midst of a conversation about whether or not diversity in television was better today or in the 90’s, and as I argued my points and she argued her, I realized I really didn’t care. It was a stupid conversation, with no clear winning side and my life would be more peaceful if I wasn’t having it. So, I just shut up and it kinda made things awkward for a moment. 😄
I had to explain what was going on and why I just sort of shut up. We determined I needed to better convey those feelings and at least let her in on me not caring and my desire to end the conversation. It was a very fair request.
My ultimate goal in life is peace and simplicity. This is just one more way to simplify my life and one way I hope to exercise a bit more in the future.