Since my last post, I’ve been consumed with how I’ve handled my writing over the past several years. I’ve second guessed the way I’ve managed my old posts and even what my website has become. Does this make me happy? Is this how I want to communicate? Is this what I want to write about.
Last year, I spent some time destroying all my old writings. I felt like they were dragging me down, so I deleted my backups. Then, a few months ago, I ran across a folder I missed on an external hard drive. The writings survived as well as various blog backups, so last night, I went ahead and restored whatever I had on hand.
I had a complete backup of my January-September 2020 writings (arguably my favorite time blogging), all my writings from 2014-2015, and then a document with pretty much everything from 2005-2013. I knew what was in the document, so I decided to scroll through the other two blog backups and see if I should start restoring these posts and embracing them.
I was convinced I had made a mistake discarding everything. I mean, I spent time writing those. They were important to me. But once I began scrolling through the posts, I began to see why I deleted them. The ones from 2014-2015 were terrible. I was going through a rough patch and blogging was my outlet. The posts that weren’t a desperate man trying to survive were random pop culture posts that border lined on cringe. There was nothing salvageable there and I was happy that I had discarded them.
I spent some time looking over the posts through 2020 and I felt differently. I started of 2020 with a new blog and a new outlook. I was newly engaged, and life was going pretty good. I’d been working on getting my mental health to a much better place and I felt optimistic for the future. I feel like you could see that in my writing.
It was light, goofy, and random. The site worked as my own personal social media and you can tell I was enjoying myself. Even as the pandemic began and times got scary, the posts were lighthearted and jovial. Then, I reached the fall, and that’s when Blogger began experiencing problems. Images started going to missing and they were in no rush to fix their broken system. Blogger is an almost useless service that Google barely supports and I’d grown sick of their neglect.
After waiting over a month for a repair or even a statement that repairs were on the way, I began looking for a new blogging service. I ended up at Write.as, which was booming due to stay-at-home orders and people looking for new hobbies. I appreciated their focus on privacy and the community. I had some great conversations with fellow bloggers on Write.as, but as the restrictions lifted, the bloggers abandoned their creations, and I began missing my sidebar.
Since then, it’s been a series of starts and stops, and I’ve yet to recapture the magic of my blogging in early 2020. I know the world is different, hell, I know I’m different, but I need to bring the fun back. Today, I’m taking the first step in doing so.
For years a ran a horror movie review blog, which has sat dormant on Blogger as a source for images. I’ve been picking at the pieces of this forgotten blog to fill in empty gaps over at Middle-Aged Fat Kids. Well, today, I took the first step in resecuring the domain name and restarting BrandonsHorror.com. I have enough content pre-written to last several years, and it’s time to lean into my interests.
I plan to also return to WordPress for this blog and Brandon’s Horror down the road. I need something I can update super quick and super easy, because I’m going to bring back the fun.
I don’t have a complete vision yet, but I’m working on it. I think I took one step forward in my blogging and then two steps back. Luckily, two steps back landed me in 2020 and that’s not a bad place to be (at least in the blogging world.)
Thank you for reading.